Back to Basics

I am back. I took some time off of my workouts and Monday (Sept 24th) was the beginning of my return. This means back to getting up at 4:44 am, running around the track in the dark (seasons change fast in six weeks), and hitting the gym before my household awakes from it's slumber looking for breakfast and guidance (is it school day, where is my favorite sweatshirt, mom run my life for me). You know the average morning for any mom.
It is difficult starting something new or again when the cycles and seasons are ending or dying. I seem to have to dig much deeper this time of year and I am guessing I am not alone. It would be so much easier to embrace the beginning of hibernation, fatten up, and wait for spring to start something new like nature intended. But here I am trying to be the best me I can be. With that, I thought I would share some of the tips that have helped me in the past and help me now.

1. I avoid mirrors unless it is to make sure I am presentable for leaving the house (even then sometimes I forget lol). I have found the less I look at myself the less I obsess about my body. Plus it's easier to notice changes.
2. Set out your workout close before you go to bed and have everything you need ready. Or if need be sleep in them (don't say gross, you are just going to sweat them up anyway and shower after, right?). I make my coffee the night before so all I have to do is push a button and wait with my head on a pillow for my cup of loveliness. Having a cup of coffee can really help energize you for your workout.
3. When I get home from my workout I pack a lunch box of healthy food and write on each thing what time I will eat it. You can do this even if you are not going to leave the house. It really does help hold you accountable. You should be eating every 2-3 hours to get your metabolism revved up plus then you don't feel deprived or hungry.
4. Surrond yourself with motivation i.e. pictures of what fitness looks like to you, words of wisdom, pictures of what you looked like before. I find one of the best ways for me is to constantly read certain health and fitness magazines and always be ready to learn something new or try something new like recipes or exercises.
5. Don't be afraid of supplements and vitamins to help your body out. For example calcium, iron, magnesium, fish oil, multivitamin etc. Research and decides what's right for you.
6. Always remember each day is a new day. Take it one workout at a time and one meal at a time. Enjoy the journey and the process. I love to see the mental changes that always accompany the physical. You make sure your car is serviced and maintained, to the same for your soul's vehicle. It's the one vehicle you don't get to trade in.

These are just a few of the things that help get me through. I am always interested in what helps motivate others so please to be shy and let me know. I am always open for questions, feedback, or if you just want support I am here for you.
Thanks for listening to me ramble (again).

Life is Short

So today is the anniversary of the crash heard around the world. Americans thought this could never happen to them. Hopefully one of the things we can all take away from this tragedy, life is short. Too short to live your life for someone else, too short to do or not to do things we want, and too short to live by others' opinions of us. Your life can change in the blink of an eye.

I feel like females are especially guilty of putting everyone else's needs before our own. Most of us have children, mothers, family or bosses who are depending on us for one thing or another. My question is why do we always put our needs last? How can we perform for these people if we are empty. I say fill your self up with the things that make you happy. Loss is usually too late, so the moment is now. I don't think it is too scientific to realize something that is full has more to offer than something that is empty.

So the next question is what fills us up? I function better with a healthy body and a calm mind, but that doesn't mean I always make the right choices. I have days or even weeks where I eat too much ice cream or drink too much alcohol. I also have times that my mind is so busy that I can't focus on anything. I am curious what other people do when they feel empty? Where do you turn when you feel alone and like nobody else would understand because they don't have any problems? Please tell me I am not the only one who feels this way. Is 37 too early for a midlife crisis? These are the questions I wonder about when I think about how fragile life is and how quickly it can be taken away.

It seems like I am rambling and maybe I am but maybe there are others out there who feel like me. Maybe they will feel better to know that I feel like them. As humans we always seem to feel better when we are not alone. I can imagine the people in the World Trade Towers and the airplanes were terrified but somewhat comforted by the friend or stranger beside them. In writing this blog I hope to be the friend or stranger beside someone that makes them feel not so alone. I think by sharing our accomplishments and our insecurities we feel comforted. Please feel free to share your thoughts with me publicly or privately as I have shared mine with you. Carpe Diem.

The Changes

So now that you know how I got started I will tell you a little about it how it affected me. One thing I would like to mention is that I am not unique in what happened to my body and mind. Other people I have read about have describe a very similar experience. The good news it also means anybody can do it regardless of size, age, "genetics", or what ever excuse you may have as to why you can't. You only have to have one thing to get started. The belief that you can. If you have that the hard work is easy.

So in deciding on my new life change I really wanted to "see what I was made of". One thing I noticed the most was how proud of myself I could feel and realizing there is no shame in pride. I don't know about the rest of you but I always seem to have the hardest time complimenting myself even if I am the only one listening. This new journey has taught me it is okay to like who you are and turns out when you like yourself more other people around seem to like you more too. Specifically, other people like your partner, your kids and your family. By no means am I speaking for everyone but I don't think I am completely alone in this thinking. This pride rarely came from my workouts, it came from being able to walk out the door and do what I so easily could have talked myself out of. There were so many days that was by far the hardest part of my workout. So for those of you who think everything always comes easy for someone else, it is probably not true. Everyone has self doubt and struggles you may not be able to see. Everyone who thinks it comes easy for me think again. There is nothing easy about getting up at 4:45am to be able to get your workout in before you have to get your family up, breakfast for everyone and then go to work. Wow, I feel exhausted just writing that. So you probably think I am full of shit when I say it makes my whole day goes better and I feel more energized when I drag myself out the door at the butt crack of dawn. On those mornings when I do talk myself out of my workout I feel sluggish and down on myself for the whole day (until I workout in the evening because I can't take the guilt, I think is some kind of lame Catholic thing lol).  The point I am trying to make is sometimes it helps when you feel like your not alone in your struggles. I used to think everyone had an easier time in life than me. They had an easier time being motivated, determined, and were way happier with their life than I was with mine. My guess is that is not the case and maybe others think that it comes easy for me. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. I say capitalize on the strengths and recognize the weaknesses and then wrap those weaknesses up in a big bubble and send them on their marry way. It is okay to have weakness but don't let them define you. One of the biggest lessons I have learned is to not have my weaknesses be because of someone else's strengths. Compare your self to you and and only you or you may run the risk of having a nervous breakdown. Trust me I know this from experience.

The people reading this, who know me well, are probably shocked that I am putting my feelings out there for the world to see (because I know I am). I am not really the type of person to share my feelings or let others in on my little secret of insecurity, but here I am putting it out there for the world to read. This is not something I would have done 16 weeks ago. But now I have realized embracing your insecurities can be very powerful. The more you talk about them the weaker they get. They begin to lose their power over you.

Looking at the people who have inspired me to get started and to keep going has made me realize if I can inspire just one person to go after their dream then I will feel like it is been worth it to share my story.

Many of you who are reading this probably already know a little about me. So a quick refresher; I am training for my first NPC (National Physique Committee) competition in the bikini division. Yes, it is bodybuilding but not what most people think of. As a female I will not look like a man or Arnold, although I would like to have a foreign accent, maybe just not his. There are three categories in which to compete. Fitness, which is fairly muscular, still feminine, and you have to perform a routine. Figure, which looks very much like fitness physique but you do not have to perform a routine. Bikini, is a less bulky more feminine class. Your goal is be symmetrical, toned and curvy. Bikini is the class I am aiming for at the moment.

When I first started training for this I never thought in a million years it was something I would be able to do. The time, dedication, and determination required were very intimidating. Of course at the time I couldn't have imagined the pay off that would follow. 

I had reached the point in my 36 years that I needed to figure out what I was doing with my life. Unhappy in most all areas of it, body image, relationships, jobs, finances, you name it. People often speak of some "aha moment" but if it is not yours you think it is somewhat bogus. It never occurred to me that I would actually have one. Then in the middle of winter (February) I was reading through my favorite magazine Oxygen. There, gracing a 3 page spread, was a girl from Whitehall, MT. I couldn't believe how excited I was to see a girl from a town I knew in a nationally syndicated magazine. I was completely inspired. I decided right then "Why can't that be me?" Turns out there is no reason why it can't. 

I FaceBooked her and wrote her a message how she had inspired and motivated me. She wrote back and said the best way to get started was to become a competitor because that is where most of the fitness models are chosen. Yes I said it fitness model. Everyone always thinks "I can't be a model, I am not (insert compliment i.e. pretty, thin, tall, good) enough". What if people think I'm vain for saying my goal is to be a fitness model, what if... what if... what if...".  

So that is where my journey began. I had desire and I had faith, the two most important things to possess when pursing a dream. 

The first thing I did was contact an athletic team called "Bombshells" to apply for member ship per my new role model's suggestion. It was the team she was on and nothing but great things to say about. I was accepted and began their training regiment. It scared me to death the first time I read what I was supposed to eat and what workouts to do for the first four weeks. I wanted to quit right then and there. In fact I couldn't even read through the whole plan the first couple of times because it seemed impossible. I thought, I have to quit trying to read this whole thing at once. I will take it one day at a time, one workout at a time and one meal at a time. 

This is the beginning of my journey. After 16 weeks of training I am taking a six week break for personal time. The gains I have seen and the emotional processes I have gone through have been unlike anything I could ever imagine. My next episode will go in-depth into those epiphanies. I will resume my training in the middle of September.